muck talk.

In less than 2 weeks, I will be mucking it up at MuckFest MS through 19 muddy obstacles over a 5K course with my team of both ill- and well-prepared MuckNuggets, all to raise funds and awareness for the National MS Society.

...man, this is hard to write... here we go. As you may or may not know, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis a little over 3 years ago. MS is a chronic and often debilitating disease that attacks the central nervous system. It can cause an array of symptoms; MS is unpredictable and affects every individual differently. I have been fortunate in so many ways. Fortunate to have excellent medical care. Fortunate to have the most incredible support system. Fortunate to be feeling really, really good. (Not to brag, but have you seen my yoga moves?)

I first heard about MuckFest MS last fall. I had seen ads for Walk MS and Bike MS and Run MS, and always thought, "Nope. Not me." Partially because I hate to run, don't have a bike, and barely tolerate walking to the train to get to work. But then I got an email about MuckFest MS in Chicago. I thought maybe I could do that. It looks like a muddy jungle gym. I love playgrounds. It was almost a year away and registration wasn't for months, but I forwarded it to my sister and said, "Maybe would you do this with me?"

For the next few months, I went back and forth about whether I really wanted to do it. It wasn't the athletics that were holding me back, either. A few weeks after I was diagnosed in 2012, the Walk MS event was in Chicago. I considered it for a moment, but I wasn't even ready to accept the diagnosis. I didn't know what MS was going to look like for me in 3 weeks - in 6 months - in 2 years - in 5 years... I was too afraid to be face to face with any "worst case scenarios." I was already living my worst case scenario. Worst case scenario at that time was just having MS at all. I wasn't ready for more.

Now after three years, three different medications, countless needles and banging MRI machines, cutting out gluten (mostly), rotating vitamin combos, and one hilarious spinal tap (thanks to Todd), I kind of feel ready to do something public. I wasn't hiding from my diagnosis. I didn't avoid it if it came up in conversation. But to participate in the community is something completely different.

So I bit the bullet. I registered and started a team. And the next thing I knew, we had a crew of 14 Chicken MuckNuggets! I didn't initially plan to do any fundraising, but the reaction from my friends/family and their enthusiasm to join me in this muddy adventure lit a fire inside me. To date, we have raised $3,000 in support of the National MS Society and their mission. Every time we receive a new donation, no matter the size, my heart fills with pride and love and so many feelings. My eyes well with tears every. single. time. I am overwhelmed by the generosity I have seen from people. And "Thank You" just doesn't even begin to express the extent of my gratitude.

Like I said, I am fortunate in so many ways. I have been living with MS for over three years. I have accepted my new reality for now, but the thing that keeps me from fearing the next "worst case scenario" is learning about the medical breakthroughs that happen everyday. I believe that we will find a cure for MS in my lifetime. That is where all of these fundraising dollars are going. To end MS forever. But for now, I am celebrating my health at MuckFest MS next weekend with my incredible team, who I love so much. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for your support. Thank you for reading this. Thank you for being a friend.

To make a donation to our team, visit my fundraising page!

the luckiest.

One year ago, I was in full pre-wedding-stress-mode. The dress had to be picked up from the seamstress, the menus and programs had to be picked up from the printer (the first batch was ALL WRONG, I tell you!), I had to check into the hotel, I didn't have a bra for my rehearsal dinner dress (that I just picked out THAT WEEK! Because NOTHING WAS RIGHT!), my original make-up artist cancelled at the last minute, it was unseasonably cold (and WE ARE GETTING MARRIED IN THE GARDEN DAMMIT)... FULL ON PANIC MODE!

Thankfully, I have the best friends/family/husband in the whole world. Everything was perfect, even the parts that weren't. We partied forever. And I would do it all over again every year. I will say it forever: May 11, 2013 was the happiest day of my life. It was an incredible day, filled with the most special people from every special moment of my life so far. I know that as time goes on, you lose touch with people. It's the natural way of things. But I feel so fortunate to have had so many people from so many places come to celebrate and send us off on this new adventure. It was especially important to me because of the absence of one most important guest. Who was there every time the clouds parted and the sun shined into the courtyard. Which it did at the most wonderful times.

this ring is part of my mom's wedding set. she had three bands, too.

some may remember this as the second best moment of the night.

Full Disclosure: Marriage isn't easy. The first year of marriage has been tough, but that could be said about any year of any relationship ever. You work hard for love and happiness. And when you are in love and happy, even the hard work feels easy in the end. We are still so happy. So in love. So hilarious. So lucky. But I'm the luckiest. (Don't tell Todd!)

and then a year goes by.

Well, not an entire year. But practically a year. Since my last post of any substance, that is, and not just cute images and no real text. We really did go camping, though. That wasn't just a fun name for our new home. But it is what we call our apartment, so maybe it was just a cute image. But now it has some context.

It's hard to jump back into blogging after such a long hiatus. What do you talk about? How do you break the ice? Do you start back where you left off, or pick up at present day? THE PRESSURE IS OVERWHELMING! But seriously, it kind of was. A lot of things have happened, and I wish I had captured some of those moments via blog. But to be honest, I'm kind of glad I didn't because that means I was really living in those moments and enjoying my time with family and friends. (Not that bloggers don't enjoy things. I just tend to get distracted.)

So I guess this is me. Saying hi. I'm back. (Hopefully.) And I'll probably do some recapping in the near future. I mean, this was our first year of marriage. I turned 30. We went to Florida. And Iceland. Big things at Camp Garcia. Stay tuned if you want! If not, I totally understand. Chances are I won't post again until October. But I have good intentions.

If you need me, I'll just be over here.

the square is a circle.

I moved to the Logan Square neighborhood of Chicago seven years ago, somewhat relunctantly actually. I was coerced by my sister and an apartment on the circle with a garbage disposal that was half a block from the train station. You see, Logan Square is actually a circle. A wonderfully confusing mess of staight/curved/diagonal streets that allow you to weed out intruders to your neighborhood simply by observing who does or does not know how to properly navigate said circle.

I wasn't so sure about the West Side or the Blue Line at the time. It was "FAR!" from my friends (South Loop/Lincoln Park) and my school (South Loop) and I would have to take TWO TRAINS to get anywhere! (UGGGHHH! So hard!) Stefanie said, "Just wait. In five years, this area is going to start growing like crazy." To which I said, "FIVE YEARS?! But we live here NOW!" (P.S. I love reminiscing about how whiney I was to my sister all the time.) Well, obviously, she did not lead me astray. Seven years and three apartments later, I've gotten to experience the changes to the neighborhood first hand.

The Logan Theatre was renovated back to its original glory and then some in 2012.
(Instagram stolen from A.)
The downside of living in the new "hot" neighborhood is that rent just keeps going up. And the property managers don't seem to care about making any improvements to their apartments because there are one hundred new tenants just waiting for you to get sick of your shitty place so they can move in. Immediately after the honeymoon, Todd and I had the super-fun task of looking for a new apartment, effective immediately. Not the most relaxing way to start your life together as 'newlyweds', but it was necessary.

At this point, I'd like to note that getting married can really skew your priorities and outlook on life. Like, "We're married now! We need to have two bathrooms, a garage, a fancy kitchen, a yard, and LOTS of closets!" We were ready to shell out hundreds more dollars a month to try to meet this expectation. We were open to any neighborhood; anywhere that we could check off as many of those boxes as possible. The more places Todd emailed to me to take a look at, the more discouraging the search became. How far do we go - geographically AND monitarily - to try to get the "dream" apartment? How many more places can we see before we just settle for something we don't love? Even in the perfect apartment, would we really love it as much as we love living in Logan Square? Have we gone about this search all wrong?

Our last day at our first place. That was our window right above our heads.
If the smiles above didn't already give it away... Surprise! We officially moved into my fourth apartment in Logan Square (Todd's second) on June 22nd; exactly six weeks after our wedding day. We found a great place in our favorite neighborhood for way less than the places we were looking at elsewhere. How did we do that, you ask? I'll have to get editor's notes from Todd because, honestly, he did it all. Including forcing me to make up my mind about what was most important. Our new place doesn't check all the crazy boxes we had dreamed up, but it checks enough of them. And we realized that the most important box was actually a Square. (Which is actually a circle.)

We appropriately chose to shoot some of our engagement photos last year
by the 'Home' mural outside of the Logan Square Blue Line station.

Welcome (back) Home!

insta gratification.

It really happened. I'm a married lady. Holy moly. And we've made it five and a half whole weeks already! So far, it's... pretty much the same. Don't take that the wrong way; it feels incredible to be married! But when you have been together for five years, lived together for almost two, and known each other for about eight, the marriage part is really a formality. He's been my husband for a while now.

The wedding, though... Best. Day. Of. My. Life.

Honestly. And not because it was "my day" or because every last detail was perfect and sparkly and white and every little girl's dream. It wasn't. It was our day. And every detail was not perfect, there were very few sparkles, and the whitest part was the dancing. But it was perfectly us. It was our dream. (There you go. There's the cliche.) It was the best, most amazing celebration of family and friends. I just wanted to drink in all of the love and joy and laughter that started the moment the first guests started arriving (read: Justin. On Wednesday.) and continued until the moment the last guests departed (read: Us. Because Justin was asleep in our apartment when we left for our honeymoon. Yes, Todd knew what he was getting into before he proposed).

Another thing I loved was getting to relive it all immediately, and peruse the hastags on instagram the next day. Here are a few favorites from #garciaganza2013 and #lovetoddandstacey.

heart breaker at hooters the day before. sorry fellas. this prize has been WON.

post-rehearsal-dinner drinks. post-post-rehearsal-dinner-drinks hair fix.

hs bffs. there's a baby in there!

clones. my hubba and my nuzzle. she knew before we knew.

oh yeah, and then it got real.

and then i got to dance with my dad.

best buds.

todd and his mama got the party started.

photo. booth. mania. (+ unicorn.)

best day of my life.

These instas are courtesy of my wonderful friends and family, whose social media links I will keep private. But many thanks to all of them for capturing such perfect moments and letting me steal them because I'M THE BRIDE. xo

soon-to-be mrs.

In four days, I will be getting married to this little guy:

Chicago, Summer 2008 That is the first know photo of the two of us together after we started dating. Todd was 21 (finally) and I was 24. Ah, the good ol' days. We started dating on May 15, 2008 - we were engaged on May 13, 2012 - and we will be married on May 11, 2013. Almost five years exactly. It's amazing how much people change in five years. Who are those tiny people sitting on that couch?

Seattle, Spring 2009 We have had a lot of adventures together, and I can't wait to see what else is in store for us. The first trip we ever took together was by train, from Chicago to Seattle. No internet access or phone service for two days. It was incredible, and stil one of my favorite trips we have ever taken.

Puerto Rico, Summer 2010 Todd will try anything. He is so brave. He works hard and dedicates himself to everything he does, even if he has no idea what he is doing. He figures it out, and then excels at it. He helps me realize that I can do more than I give myself credit for. If he can face his fear of sea monsters and get his scuba certification (on our honeymoon!), then I can probably find the courage to do the things that scare me, too.

Glacier National Park, Summer 2011 One of the greatest things about Todd is how well he gets along with everyone. That, and his cute behind. But more so, because of how effortlessly he takes to people. He makes everyone feel at ease. And he lets me be silly and ridiculous and sad and mad and out-of-control-excited and whatever else I feel like being whenever I feel like being it. You might not be able to tell by how calm-cool-and-collected I look in all of these pictures, but I may have been voted "Biggest Mood Swings" my senior year of high school. (Thanks, Justin.)

Chicago, Fall 2012  In short, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. I have found my match. Or is it "met my match"? Either way, it's true. We have so much more life to experience together. It won't always be easy. "But at least it will be always."

Always,
Soon-to-Be Mrs. Garcia

getting past the past.

I had the most conflicting, but heart-warming, dream last night. I dreamt that I was at some event - almost like summer camp - with all of my friends. Past and present. A couple of my exes were there. We talked. It was easy to remember the good things when their faces are staring back at you. And I started to think about how my life would have been different if I had ended up with any of them. I was swept away by memories of a certain time of my life. What might have been.

Every now and then I would see Todd - in the bleachers, the field, the woods - lauging with friends, and he would smile at me when we saw each other. He was letting me figure something out for myself, but still observing. He wasn't jealous or mad. He was friendly with everyone. He's good like that.

There was a very real moment towards the end of the dream when I was standing at a table, looking at these familiar faces that I have loved and will always care for, and I realized that those lives I may have had were not the one I wanted for myself. They weren't the life for who I am now. And a rush of clarity came over me - the only person I could think of was Todd. I love our life - our life is good. It's us.

In my dream, it wasn't as if I was breaking up with anyone, or saying good-bye. I didn't run to Todd in the rain, crying, telling him I loved him and only him. Dream Todd already knew that. Real Todd does too. I was just giving myself permission to let go of the invisible ties that I allowed to remain in my subconsious. I will always hold the good memories in my heart, and care for those whose lives have crossed with mine, but I woke up feeling like a weight had been lifted. Like a responsibility had been relieved. And like my heart was so full of love and excitement to be married that I could burst.

hey bub.

I was reading my usual daily blogs yesterday, when I came across a 'link-party' spoofing the Ryan Gosling "Hey Girl" meme by having you hey-girl-ify your own man. Here's a quick example for all the ladies:

via.

Now, I'm no pro at this blogging thing, and I've never really understood what a 'link-party' was or how to participate, but adding text to images I can do. And since Todd got called out on the blog earlier this week, here is his redemption. (I imagine he'd say most of these in real life.)

 
 

For Monday. xo
Happy Valentine's Day! Sending you all lots of love, today and everyday! XOXO

let's go.

I'm going to be honest with you (whoever 'you' are that may still check on this blog after a five month hiatus). 2012 sucked. It started out bad. Day 1: Bad. And we were just never able to climb back up from there. It was like the whole year was spent trying to swim against the current. A rip current. With an undertoe. It was rough.

There were a few bright moments. (Sparkly, even!) Three of my best friends got married. (Two of them to each other!) Todd and I had an amazing vacation, and got engaged. We took a few quick trips, and had some fun times with family and friends.

But right after those lovely moments, there was always a cloud right behind us ready to gloom things up again. It wasn't any one thing. And it wasn't everything either. But no matter how many times you try to tell yourself "Be positive. Things could be worse.", it's hard to believe it in the moment.

What made things worse was the fact that this was supposed to be the most wonderful year of my life. Being engaged. Planning our wedding. These are things that I have looked forward to for a long time. But, full disclosure: wedding planning is not all cake and flowers. Fullest disclosure: sometimes it flat out sucks. But also, sometimes you luck out and find yourself with a partner who just wants you to be happy and stress-free and who has great ideas and really good taste (in ladies). So I will never, ever, ever take credit for how wonderful our wedding is about to turn out. And it is going to be awesome. And it is going to be mostly Todd's fault.

I don't want to jinx anything, but I think 2013 is going to be great. It might be a backwards-ly optimistic way to look at it, but honestly, "It couldn't be worse than last year." I'm trying to wake up everyday with a positive attitude. So far, it's worked about 70% of the time. But that's better than 0%.

And just to ensure that this post ends positively (because Gloom & Doom is sooo 2012) here are some joy-enducing insta-images from the last month or so. Things are looking up. It's 2013. Let's go.

my kind of town(s).

I don't know what started it, but I am feeling an awful lot of home-town pride lately. And not just Worthington or Ohio. Last night, as Todd and I were driving back into the city after a wedding weekend in Worthington, I was hit with an overwhelming sense of home. This city has been so good to me for the past eight years, and I don't often give it enough credit. So as we made our way through Chinatown and Pilsen and Ukranian Village and Bucktown to get to our humble apartment in Logan Square, I was suprised by the surge of pride that rushed through me. "I live here," I thought. And then I looked over at Todd as he navigated the side streets to avoid the traffic on I-90/94. "WE live here." This is our home, together. I'm not alone here - I never have been. More and more family has made their way to Chicago. Our lives are expanding in this town - marriages, babies, partners, jobs. We love each other, and we are at each others' fingertips if anyone ever needs a helping hand.

Whenever I wear a t-shirt rep'ing Columbus or Ohio or Worthington, I am not doing it for the athletics. (Sorry, Buckeye fans!) For me, The Ohio State University, the Columbus Clippers, the Crew, script Ohio, all of those mean "Home". They mean "Family". They mean "Friends". They all stand for where I was raised; where I came from; where my family is; where my Home is, was and always will be.

But now I realize that I have those same feelings about Chicago. Chicago is where I am now - where all the rest has led me to. It is where I moved in with my sister when my first plans didn't work out. (Sorry, Pittsburgh. But not that sorry.) It is where I made grown up decisions about life. It is where my 'neice' was born. It is where I met the man I am going to spend the rest of my life with. It is where we will will be married. It is where we live, together. This is also where my Home is.

I have a family here, beyond my own cousins. Friends that I have known for years. Friends that are way beyond "friends". We've been family from day one. Todd's extended family is here. They all open their homes, hearts and lives to us, and I feel so fortunate. So blessed. When I wear my Cubs gear, I am wearing it for my Chicago life, my Chicago family, my Chicago Home.

And in our last four years together, we've spent a lot of time in Todd's own hometown. Milwaukee and Wisconsin have found their way into my bloodstream. The lakeshore, the parks, the cheese, the beer, the sausage, the Packers. Todd's parents have been so welcoming, it is impossible for me not to feel comfortable there. It is a beautiful place. And if I root for the Packers for any reason, above all else, it is for Todd's home. (And, well, his mom's cooking.) That is where he was raised; where he came from; where his Home is. And it is mine now, too.

How lucky am I two have three homes? (With great sports teams, through which we can show our pride! Go Buckeyes / Clippers / Crew / Cubbies / Packers! ...I don't much care for hockey. Or professional basketball.)

Now, houses? That's a whole 'nother story. Ask me in about three to five years.

stacked.

Well, the word is out - Todd and I are engaged!

He proposed while we were in St. Thomas, USVI celebrating four years of being cute, being gross, being hilarious and being in love. (That's just a little sampling of the "cute" and "gross".) And yes, he did ask my dad's permission before hand. And yes, we did look at rings together before hand. And yes, he still caught me completely off guard!

It was the end of our first full day, and Todd had just made a delicious dinner that we ate on the balcony. I told him how lucky I am that he is good at so many things that I am not good at. (Like cooking and carrying luggage, among other arguably more important things.) And vice versa. He agreed, saying - as he always does - "We make a great team." A few minutes later, he cleared the table and returned to the balcony with his hands behind his back looking a little suspicious. I laugh-cried through the whole thing. The next thing I knew, we were engaged!

We had actually been looking at rings online for awhile. A lot of the things we looked at were very gorgeous. Very sparlkly. And very not-me. We finally went into a couple stores to try things on a week before the trip. Some good. Some bad. One perfect. He didn't buy anything while I was with him because he wanted the final decision to be a surprise. But I was really hoping he would go with a certan option. So, when he opened the box and the yellow gold "rope" style ring was inside, I thought to myself "HE KNOWS ME SO WELL!" And also, "OHJEEZE WE'RE GETTING ENGAGED RIGHT NOW!"

Instead of a larger sparkly ring, Todd and I came up with the idea of a small stack of skinny rings that I can mix-and-match after we're married. The day after we got back from our trip, Todd took me to get "Part 2" of our engament ring.

I know, I know. I'm a brat. (A brat with gray hair.)

I love them.

And this is what the final stack will look like. I am so excited about what Todd chose that I just want to wear them all now! He says if I want the third ring, I'll have to marry him to get it. Oh, darn.

factory girl.

I went to school in Pittsburgh for a couple years after high school. There were only a handful of good things that came out of the time I spend there. First, a few wonderful friends. (#1@PPCshh!) Second, hot pretzels and my insane DDR skills. And third, The Andy Warhol Museum. (Andy Warhol was born in Pittsburgh, and The Warhol is the nation's largest single-artist museum.)


Anytime I felt lonely, or bored, or lost, I walked across the bridge to The Warhol. I would spend a few hours pouring over the rotating exhibits and films, and the permanent collection (that I had seen dozens of times before). It is so much more than self-portraits and Campbell's Soup cans.


I love the "Silver Clouds" installation, and think about it often. I always tried to go on a slow day, mid-week, so I could stand quietly alone in the room and think about where I wanted to go next. Ultimately, these clouds led me to Chicago.

On the weekends, the basement of the museum turns into a Warhol workshop, where you can create your own silk screen pop-art. And now you can click here to create your own online version.



If you ever find yourself at the confluence of the Allegheny and the Monongahela rivers, I wholeheartedly suggest a visit. (I also learned the words "confluence", "Allegheny" and "Monongahela".)